Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

What are some other ways to respond to someone saying "thank you" besides "de rien" or "vous êtes bienvenue"?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

And the sadness?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Hulu’s ‘Predator: Killer Of Killers’ Lands Predator’s Best Critic Score Ever - Forbes

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Risk Of Dengue Fever Is Just Another Reason Cruises Suck - Jalopnik

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

A Giant Mouth Has Opened on The Sun And Even It Looks Surprised - ScienceAlert

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I was tired of fighting.

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Blake Lively Insists She Is Not Dropping Emotional Distress Claims Against Justin Baldoni, Despite What His Lawyers Say & Her Lawyers Seem To Have Said - Deadline

I had run out of hope.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Tender Moment Nurse Mare Adopts Orphaned Foal As Her Own Has Us in Tears - Yahoo

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Simone Biles ‘incinerated her legacy’ with trans athlete posts: Riley Gaines - New York Post

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Trump is at a moment of choosing as Israel looks for more US help crushing Iran's nuclear program - AP News

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.